Unfinished Sentences

In lieu of the insane rain we have been getting lately where I live, I wrote a poem. There is always rain, there is never a day that's just, nice. Rain can be nice, but come on, only rain and barely sun since November? Rain can actually be beautiful, sometimes it can be prettier than a bright blue sky with the sun shining. I like it when lightning strikes and thunder cracks, it shakes the earth. Once the light comes through the window, everyone looks at each other, counting "one mississippi, two mississippi three- oh! it's only two miles away!". It really can be magical, you just gotta look for it. Jump in the puddles. Count how far away the lightning is. Hide away with the people closest to you, or even a pet. Cuddle up with a book and a nice blanket. Until next time, stay curious, and let your thoughts linger.  The smell of the rain before it approaches   the calm trees and the light breeze   The sky starting to cloud And the sun hiding away   Knowing something we ...

I used to really struggle with my mental health. It was really bad and I never reached out because I felt I would have just burdened those around me. It got to a really bad point where it drove the only person I've ever loved (outside of my family) away. I drove him to a point where he didn't want to ever talk to me again. It hurt so much, and I realized that I really need to change, I needed to get better. Though my main goal was to come back to him, I understood that the Universe isn't always so nice, and to ever get anything close to happy, I needed to be different, think differently than I did in high school. Hey, it's a part of growing up I guess. There was a moment after we collided back together, where I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. My head just spiralled and one day I just crashed, even though I'd felt happy for the first time in awhile. I wrote a poem, because I didn't want to reach out after we had just figured out what was wrong and how ...

Delete it. Delete your account, delete the app, go without it for at least a month. I promise. You don't realize it, but it is sucking your soul. I used to spend so much time (so freaking much) just scrolling. If I was busy, I was scrolling. If I was bored, I was scrolling. I know a lot of people would read that and think, yeah no freaking way. I would have said the same thing two months ago. I went through a really low era, I felt worthless, I felt like nothing was worth time or effort, or even a second thought. I was often wondering, What's the point? One day, I woke up at 4 AM, out of nowhere, and I just could not get back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. I was scrolling until 6 AM, and I finally looked up for a minute, just to see the sun rising. I realized just how much time I had wasted that morning, when I could have been studying for my last final, I could have been working out, I could have been doing something, anything productive. But I was in a trance, I couldn...

I looked into the mirror A million things jumping out Every imperfection Every curve that curved just a bit too much Every damn freckle Every birthmark Every stretch mark Every hair Growing where it shouldn’t be Every poor tattoo Every spot where there was a bit too much fat Too much chub Too much With so many things wrong How are you supposed To find something to like It feels impossible   Daunting Overwhelming To me I could be So much better So much less Me But to him I am better I am likable I am perfect I just wish I could see it See what he sees View myself The way The Universe intended 

Hey! I'm Alex, and I think... a lot .  Most of my thoughts are in unfinished sentences, which I'm sure you'll see soon enough. I think so much, that someone out there might appreciate at least one. I think of poems and random writing prompts, different fashion styles, and I have lots of opinions on social media, self-care, music, etcetera. When I get a spare moment in my busy days, I write them down and they just sit in my notes app, or in a random journal, and I never do anything with them, they never turn into anything, even though they have so much potential. I remember back in high school, we always had to write brain dumps, and I noticed I have not written any true brain dumps in a while. I thought, maybe I could do that here. I have a very general list about what I hope to write about eventually:  - first love - poetry (both poems themselves, and the act of writing poetry) - research for yourself, not for school - music - movies and TV shows - tattoos  - yearning - ...